In Praise of Manly Pastors

I recently had a post about some men—mainly pastors—I would recommend other men follow. That prompted the question: Why is masculinity important in a pastor?

Well, there’s a larger theological discussion to be had here. Masculinity is important because excellence is important, and virtue (moral excellence) in a man—of which elders are to be exemplary—is necessarily masculine. Masculinity is important in a pastor because pastoral ministry is, by nature, agonistic, combative, confrontational. It takes courage, grit, fortitude, perseverance.

(Note the header image e.g.—John Calvin barring the Libertines from the Lord’s Table.)

But the simple reason I wanted to point out a few men to be aware of is because, on the practical level, men want to find pastors whom they can follow into battle. It’s that simple. If you’re a wife reading this, you need to understand that while the children’s ministry may be the most important aspect to you for finding a good church, for your husband it will be having a pastor they would follow into battle. They may not consciously word it that way. Perhaps it’s not even the best way to word it. But wives, you should want to go to a church where your husband respects the pastor. The programs, fellowship, coffee, and “atmosphere” may be terrific; but if your husband does not respect your pastor as a man, he won’t last long.

I hope to explain that a little further soon.

The video below is a good example of the need for manly men in the pulpits of America. I don’t link to this video because I endorse Maxwell. I don’t. I disagree with much of his approach and his theological views (including, ironically, his take on masculinity). But he’s hitting a niche precisely because he is accurately pointing out the failing of modern evangelicalism when it comes to masculinity, engaging the world manfully, and, thus, retaining real men in the churches.

This is why we need men like Wilson, Baucham, Cunningham, Conn, Wiley, and others.

In this video, Voddie Baucham explains that one of the primary reasons men aren’t interested in church is because the pastor is not a man they respect and feel they can follow as their leader.

In this article, C.R. Wiley discusses how to get and keep masculine men in the church.

And when we talk about masculine pastors (or men in general), we don’t—or shouldn’t—mean the machismo and posturing that so often is presented as manhood. Alastair Roberts has some helpful thoughts on that in two articles here and here. I’ll leave you with a quote from Wilson’s Future Men. This is essential in our endeavor to not continue losing future men from the church.

Boys should be able to see masculine leadership throughout the life of the church. From the pulpit, to the session of elders, to the choir, boys should be able to see men they respect. They should not see what is too often the case—missing men or silent men just along for the ride. When men go to church simply to sit in the back, they are teaching their boys to do exactly the same thing, if that.

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A Parenting Q&A You Should Know About

Here is an excellent Q&A (quite a few years old) with Tim Bayly and Doug and Nancy Wilson. You really should listen to it. It’s delightful, convicting, and full of wisdom.

http://baylyblog.com/blog/2009/03/qa-session-raising-godly-children-douglas-nancy-wilson-and-tim-bayly

A Father’s Responsibilities

I ’ve recently been reading Marriage and Family in the Biblical World—a fascinating work explaining the structure, role, and centrality of the ancient household. The book examines the views and practices of marriage, family, and household in ancient Israel, Greece, Rome, and the early church. Below is an interesting list of the father’s responsibilities in the ancient Hebrew and early Christian household, adapted from lists in the book itself. A truly captivating study, I look forward to finishing the book, and commend it to you as well.

A Father’s Responsibilities

·     Personally modeling strict fidelity to Yahweh

·     Leading his family in national festivals, and nurturing the memory of Israel’s salvation

·     Instructing the family in the traditions and Scriptures

·     Managing the land

·     Providing for the family’s basic needs for food, shelter, clothing, and rest (1 Tim. 5:8)

·     Defending the household against outside threats

·     Protecting his wife and daughters from unwise vows (Num. 30)

·     Serving as an elder and representing the household in the official assembly of citizens

·     Maintaining the household’s well-being and the harmonious operation of the family unit

·     Implementing decisions made at the clan or tribal level

·     Leading and discipling his wife (Eph. 5:26)

·     Discipling and disciplining his children (Eph. 6:4)

·     Leading his family in prayer (1 Pet. 3:7)

A Father’s Responsibilities for His Daughters

·    A father has the responsibility to protect his daughter from male predators so that she would marry as a virgin and thus bring honor to the Lord and purity to her husband (Deut. 22; Ex. 22:16–17)

·     Arranging for his daughter’s marriage by finding a suitable husband and making proper arrangements (Deut. 7:3–5; Ezra 9:12; Neh.13:25; Jer. 29:6; Luke 20:24–25)

·     Ensuring a measure of security for his daughter by providing a dowry

·     Protecting his daughter from rash vows (Num. 30)

·     Providing security for his daughter in case the marriage fails

·     Instructing his daughters in the Scriptures

A Father’s Responsibilities for His Sons

·     Modeling biblical manhood in the home (Prov. 23:26)

·     Preparing his sons for marriage and headship in their future households

·     Walking alongside their sons and teach them a trade and to care for the land

·     Telling their sons the story of salvation with a view toward generational remembrance (Deut. 6:20–21)

·     Correcting their sons and restrain their iniquity (Deut. 21:18–21; 1 Samuel 3:13)

·     Teaching their sons wisdom from God’s Word (Prov. 2:1–5; 3:1–2)

·     Making arrangements to help their sons to secure wives (Gen. 24)

·     Leaving their sons an inheritance (Deut. 21:15–17)

I highly recommend this work for any who are interested in studying the theology of the household, or in understanding the cultural context of the biblical world more generally. One of the most fascinating books I’ve read recently—get it here.


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Federal Husbands and Masculine Responsibility

I’ve been reading Federal Husband, by Doug Wilson. It has been, far and away, one of the best books on being a husband and father I’ve ever read. It’s challenging, insightful, and convicting. Here’s one of my favorite quotes:

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This short book is unlike any other you’ve ever read on godly manhood and marriage. I highly recommend every man, married or single, purchase a copy and take Wilson’s instruction to heart. Get Federal Husband here. Wilson’s wife also has an excellent companion book on being a wife and mother called The Fruit of Her Hands.

Warning Signs for Fatherhood

I’ve been reading Federal Husband, by Doug Wilson. It has been, far and away, one of the best books on being a husband and father I’ve ever read. It’s challenging, insightful, and convicting. In his last chapter, on fatherhood, he says this:

So biblically, a man should know he has a problem and needs to learn God’s standards and grace, when…

his children are routinely disobedient…

his children roll their eyes when he tries to instruct them…

he finds himself making excuses for his children to others…

he is exasperated and frustrated in his children…

his children are whiners…

his children are insecure in their masculine and feminine identity and callings, respectively…

his children are lazy…

his children are miserable because he doesn’t love them through discipline…

Now of course, no parents can say they have perfect children in any of these areas. We are all descended from Adam; there is no getting around it. But if any of these are characteristic of a household, then that home is failing in its covenantal obligations.

This short book is unlike any other you’ve read on godly manhood. I highly recommend that every man, married or single, purchase a copy and take Wilson’s instruction to heart. Get Federal Husband here. Wilson’s wife also has an excellent companion book on being a wife and mother called The Fruit of Her Hands.